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It starts, whether intentionally or not, with parents. Parents, Teens, and the Culture of Sex , young Dutch men expect to combine sex and love. She rolled her eyes and said in that jaded tone that parents of preteenagers know so well, "Yes, Mom, but I've never seen it. According to Sara McClelland, a psychologist at the University of Michigan, college women are more likely than men to use their partner's physical pleasure as the yardstick for their satisfaction, saying things like, "If he's sexually satisfied, then I'm sexually satisfied. The Dutch said that teachers and doctors had talked candidly to them about sex, pleasure and the importance of a mutual trust, even love.

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When do we explain the miraculous nuances of their anatomy or address exploration, self-knowledge. Those classic diagrams of a woman's reproductive system, the ones shaped like the head of a steer, blur into a gray Y between the legs, as if the vulva and the labia, let alone the clitoris, don't exist. It is almost as if parents believe that if they don't tell their daughters that sex should feel good, they won't find out. McClelland writes about sexuality as a matter of "intimate justice. Refusing to talk about sex in a mature, realistic way leaves teens surfing the Web to learn carnal knowledge. And while we are more often telling children that both parties must agree unequivocally to a sexual encounter, we still tend to avoid the biggest taboo of all. Now, Florida Is Fighting Back.

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Nor does that silence change much as girls get older. What if we went the other way. A study of to year-old heterosexuals — and can we just pause a moment to consider just how young that is. It is almost as if parents believe that if they don't tell their daughters that sex should feel good, they won't find out.

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Description: In fact, according to a survey of college students in Britain, 60 percent consult pornography, at least in part, as though it were an instruction manual, even as nearly three-quarters say that they know it is as realistic as pro wrestling. Those classic diagrams of a woman's reproductive system, the ones shaped like the head of a steer, blur into a gray Y between the legs, as if the vulva and the labia, let alone the clitoris, don't exist. We are learning to support girls as they "lean in" educationally and professionally, yet in this most personal of realms, we allow them to topple. When I asked about the subject, girls would tell me, "I have a boyfriend to do that," though, in addition to placing their pleasure in someone else's hands, few had ever climaxed with a partner. Dutch parents, by contrast, had talked to their daughters from an early age about both joy and responsibility. Peggy Orenstein is the author, most recently, of "Girls and Sex. Call Customer Service. They expected girls to endure the act, which young women in the study consistently reported as painful.
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